I puked a lego.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
