i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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