Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
