You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
