In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize