I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
