You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
