We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize