we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize