Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
