So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
