oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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