I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
