Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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