i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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