Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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