this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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