Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He? As in you personified your dick?
Terrible idea I love it
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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