When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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