oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
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I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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