I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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