Three words: puerto rican gang bang
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
