i need an iv and a liver transplant
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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