party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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