bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
