oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Randomize
