Where are you?
In a non slutty way
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
