you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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