dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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