Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
