Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
