too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
