did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
