Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
