Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
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By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
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Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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