Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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