I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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