How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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