okay pat passed out under dana's car
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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