I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
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Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
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