I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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