Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
And then he peed in my hair
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
