I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
