I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
