Im at strip club and am horny
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
