Yo dont text me then not text me
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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