I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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