The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
