accomplished twins. life is a go
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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