yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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