SEEEEXXX PLEASE
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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