Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
