They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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