Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
