No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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