my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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