nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
