I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
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He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
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as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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